Epic Diet FAIL: Monkey See, Monkey DON’T

When I was in my final year of graduate school in Abilene, Texas (can you believe that?) my buddies and I had a very uncommon hobby.

We went to the zoo and hung out with the monkeys.

Monkeys. I love ‘em. They may me chuckle. They remind me of my 3rd grade English teacher… she was about as bright as your garden-variety chimp. (She told me, “You’ll never amount to nothing!” on a weekly basis. What a lovely example to set for kids, right?)

Yet our trips to the zoo were centered around… shall we say….

more sinister motives.

These particular monkeys enjoyed throwing things at the people who got a bit too close to the cage…

… as in, well, 100 feet?

When I say “things” I do mean ANYTHING. I’ll let your mind imagine that picture… yikes.

But it was fun, in a “kids will be kids” kind of way.

Plus it was inspiring.

I mean, this one kid (monkey kid) had an arm on him so solid we wanted to draft him for our ailing football team.

“BLUE 24! BLUE 24! Banana cream pie…HUT!!”

Ah, I can hear it now… : )

Anyhoooo… that was all fun and games.

What I’m sharing with you today is NOT.

“Believe it or not, all this monkey business centers around Fat Albert.”

WAIT.

Fat Albert?

As in the old Cosby cartoon from way back in the 70s??

(Yeah, I’m dating myself… : )

Nah… not that Fat Albert.

The “fattest rhesus monkey on earth” Fat Albert.

They named him that for obvious reasons.

He… was…

“Gravitationally impaired.”

How’s that for being politically correct?

Actually, he was just ONE FAT MONKEY.

See below:

Fat Albert da Fat-Ass Monkey

"You gonna eat your fat?... "

In case you’re wondering, I didn’t doctor that image. That is the REAL Fat Albert monkey.

WOW.

Here’s why this sordid tale of college kids gone wild and dated cartoons applies to YOU:

Take a good look at Fat Albert.

Ask yourself: “How did he get so FAT?”

The answer, from his owner:

“He ate nothing but the American Heart Association recommended dietplan.”

Are you KIDDING ME??

THAT whale of a monkey at a low-fat, “healthy carb”, virtually meat-free dietplan?

And ended up like that?

Surely he was an oddity. The only one, right?

Wrong.

Seems The Southwest National Primate Research Center in San Antonio, Texas can make a monkey blubber up simply by doing one thing:

“Adding carbs to their diet.”

They’ve tested various carbs. The worst offenders are sugars and high-fructose corn syrup.

That should come as no surprise at all.

But an entire segment of monkeys get fat when they consume a dietplan recommended by the AHA… an organization with VERY questionable motives in my humble opinion.

( If you’re reading this on my blog, comment below and let me know what you think of the American Heart Association and their connection to the pharmaceutical boys. )

The AHA, and other government-funded orgs that depend on moolah from special interest groups, are not “the bad guys.”

Not entirely.

They do good things.

They also give out dietary advice that will do ANYTHING but keep you heart healthy and lean.

So that’s the bad news.

The GOOD news is that you can eat these tasty carbs at specific times.

And on specific days.

Here’s an example:

MONDAY: Lower calories (less than normal)
Keep your carbs low; eat only green veggies and one piece of low-sugar fruit for your carbs. Forget starch even exits. Consume ample protein from grass-fed sources, including eggs. Drink a lot of water.

TUESDAY:
Repeat Monday if you really want to burn bodyfat…

WEDNESDAY: Higher calories (more than normal)
Start the day with a brisk walk. Eat the same thing for breakfast as you did on Mon/Tue. Enjoy a modest portion of whatever you want for lunch.

Eat an apple BEFORE you eat lunch. Then eat whatever you desire. That evening, enjoy your favorite “healthy” carbs like a yam, brown rice, or whole grain bread. Just do not fool yourself into thinking this is the “good food”… it’s second- best AT best. But it tastes good, so enjoy. End the day with resistance exercise like bands, weights or bodyweight exercises.

EVEN BETTER: You’ll burn-off a lot more bodyfat if you START your day with resistance exercise and cardio.

A LOT more fat…

REPEAT CYCLE.

Take Sunday off to either fast (if you want to burn a LOT more bodyfat) or eat casually (which works if you are okay with losing a bit more slowly.)

Simple, right?

Except for… that morning workout I mentioned.

The problem is: TIME.

Yet the BENEFIT is far more bodyfat burned and a more shapely body.

Resistance exercise is the key. It ‘trains’ your body to accept carbohydrates from any form more readily… and that includes sugars.

So you can have your cake and be yummy too. : )

Like I said:

The problem is: TIME.

Here’s the solution to that problem. It beats the crap out of P90X and other time-heavy workout programs…

It takes only 7-14 minutes to complete plus a 9-minute cardio workout… that’s it.

AND… it will be the most challenging workout if you want it to be. I do it. I’m a bodybuilder.

You do the math.

My 7 Minute Body in-home or in-the-gym workout plan: <--- fast workouts; more fatloss

Listen: You have to come to terms with the fact that you will NEVER eat like a Puritan.

(Excuse that sentence if you happen to be a Puritan. ; )

So, if you want to actually ENJOY your life and your food without eating “perfect” all the time, you absolutely MUST learn the tricks of the trade.

Tricks that tell your body to use those extra calories and sugars as muscle fuel rather than bodyfat.

Tricks that demand your body burn off the excess calories consumed BECAUSE you ate the RIGHT way…. the clever way… 24-48 hours prior.

That is the plan I covered above… granted, without much detail. It’s covered in more detail in my book “The Every Other Day Diet”…

But you have to get the workout in to make this monkey business turn into body magic.

And the best, most time-friendly workout is this:

My 7 Minute Body in-home or in-the-gym workout plan: <--- fast workouts; more fatloss

Enjoy, and watch out for falling bananas.

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22 Responses to “Epic Diet FAIL: Monkey See, Monkey DON’T”

  1. Heather says:

    I ate like a monkey all my life (I just didn’t realize I was). And I was always chubby. Until I started weight training at 18 years old. The weight dropped as I kept dropping my calories. Then I slowly gained, and gained, and gained. High-carb, low-fat, low-protein was slowly killing me. Six months ago, I began eating high fat, high protein, low carb. I am watching the fat melt off, my muscles are getting bigger (doing the 7 minute muscle, which I love, love, love) and my biceps are bigger than my husbands. I feel more fabulous every day. Thank you Jon Dana Benson for the EODD and the 7MM. You have changed my life. I no longer look like a monkey!

  2. Cathryn says:

    The American Heart Association has been responsible for as much or more confusion and double-speak on nutritional issues than the American Medical Association. But then, how can anyone expect to get the best information from institutions so financially closely allied with the pharmaceutical industry? Making fruits and vegetables, with emphasis on vegetables, and reasonable amounts of protein the basis of one’s diet is clearly the way to go-esp. as one gets older. We all need fewer calories as we age. Relying on vegetables and lean forms of protein for most calories helps keep us thinner, our digestive systems healthier and our energy levels more balanced. Guess what? It’s all in EODD in a clear easy to understand (and follow) format! I’m currently on drugs for post-breast cancer treatment (2nd time). They make me very sick. I was feeling sicker when following the diet the oncologist recommended. But then I started following the EODD plan and within a week started feeling less sick, more energetic, and more functional overall. I want to try the 3 week plan, but don’t think I should or could do it safely while on these drugs. Hey, if I can look and feel better on the EODD plan, even if I can’t workout every day while dealing with chemo, I’ll settle for the slower results knowing this is a great life plan. I’m living!

    • Jon Benson says:

      Cathryn, you hang in there. Chemo… I cannot imagine. Far more important to reserve your strength I’d think during this time. Have you looked into the research done by Stanley Burzynski?

      • Cathryn says:

        Yup. Sure did, also Walter L. Voegtlin, and the Kitava Study. Printed a copy of the rotating carb cookbook you had up a few days ago. With this diet, forcing myself to keep moving at least a little bit (except on the days I get the IV cocktail), and acupuncture, I’m managing. So much is just what’s in one’s head. And, hey, it’s only temporary. All this will pass. But not my diet changes. I only wanted to lose the 20 lbs. gained when first on all the drugs, and they are melting awaaaaaaay. I’m gonna live and live well! At least I hope so

      • Jon Benson says:

        Cathryn, I wish I knew what to say… how inspiring you are, how brave, and how I hope like hell you beat the s**t out of cancer.

        I want to ask if I can share your story. But not as a “marketing ploy”… hell, I won’t even put links in the email. I just think we could all learn a thing or two from your passion for life.

        But you tell me: Nothing without your permission.

        And even if it’s not granted, you’ve made ME stop in my tracks. Thank you.

  3. Pete says:

    I agree whole heartily about the connection between not only the AHA and Big Pharma, but most of the agencies and groups that tell us what is best for us. Take the FDA, please! ;-) , why so many former Monsanto executives and lobbyists for pharma?

    Thanks for all the information you give your followers. I just need to follow what you and Tom V have proven.

    Pete in AZ

  4. Good call Jon
    down in Oz (australia) we have an equivalent called the Heart Foundation and they say we should discard butter and eat margarine, i think a lot of these organisations were tricked into following this doctrine by researchers that were one eyed
    or bias towards the evil food giants like Unilever and Monsanto. So now, how do they renig on there health concepts to reduce so called heart disease by using Hydrogenated trans fats like margarine instead of natural grass fed butter
    it was pointed out by another preacher of good health that the show biggest loser was pushing grains are good for you if you want to lose weight as you know this could not be further from the truth is there any hope for people in the west. i am glad i have found the truth thanks Jon and the other like minded people like you out there

  5. Dianna says:

    We have the same problem in Canada, fat monkeys and not so smart teachers. Love your stories!

    Staying fit over 50,

    Dianna

  6. Marquette says:

    I started on your program at the time that my church was starting a 3 week fast. I modified it some. On Monday,Wednesday, & Friday I drink water(96 oz) and juice. However after 6 P.M I’ll have a couple of rice cakes,almonds and some orange juice. It takes the edge off of the water and juice all day.I have a glass of orange juice in the morning to start. Tuesday,Thursday,Saturday & Sunday I have a bowl of oatmeat (not instant) with fresh fruits like pineapple,blueberries,and almonds with cimmimin sugar and a little honey. Cold water is the drink of choice for the rest of the day 96 oz. Then dinner fruits and veggies,lentil soup,brown rice cabagge,veggie soup ect. The only thing that I slide on with the fast is an occasional dessert of sliced apple topped with nutella. I’m ending my fast next week. (It been mostly a Daniel Fast with fruits and veggies, no breads or sweet). However, I’m not ending my new lifestyle. I’ll continue to fast and pray. My first meat will be lox(smoked salomon) over white cheddar rice cake with cream cheese and a salad. Oh by the way, I’ve lost 20 lbs in 2 months. Now I want to know if I can build my body with a series of pushups and walking on my tread mill. I want to totally eliminate the gut and build my upper body.

  7. Cathryn says:

    Life is a very precious gift. Sharing experience makes the gift richer. I know I have been inspired by the stories of many brave women who have been through this before me. If my determination can help another person break down some hopelessness, by all means share it! I made it through this once, I should be able to do it again. This is purely a temporary condition to remind me that every moment of life is to be cherished.
    So wonderful that you have done so much work in this field! You also have a great gift for many people. Helping them get healthy and to think clearly, is giving them life. Many thanks to you, too! Stay well!

  8. Mike says:

    Hi Jon

    Is your offer of a free paperback copy of your Fit Over 40 book (with purchases of the deluxe e- version) available to UK residents? Thanks for your emails by the way, very inspirational and informative.

    Mike

  9. Mike says:

    Now, For A Limited Time Only, I Will Rush You A
    FREE PAPERBACK COPY of Fit Over 40 When You Order
    “Fit Over 40 Deluxe: The Success For Life Kit”…Today!

    http://www.jonbensonfitness.com/fof

    Mike

    • Jon Benson says:

      AH! You mean in the Deluxe Kit… sorry, I thought you were speaking of something else. YES, that is still available. If there’s help you need with an order, please visit help.jonbenson.com as I’m leaving town in a few and I’d like to get you taken care of today. Thanks Mike.

  10. donna says:

    Hi Jon…

    I purchased your EODD early this week and have almost finished week one. Just want to say how much I enjoy reading your material… you have such a realness about you… I love your wisdom… you rock! So far so good on the EODD. My tummy feels less bloated already… :O) Thanks for sharing with us…

    Donna

  11. Susan says:

    Cathryn & Jon…
    Thanks for the extreme inspiration and the monkey business. Just the boost needed for 64 yr-old follower sittin’ on her a** w/hamstring pull from winter soccer. Soooo pathetically unmotivated. Thanks to you, will find a way to move more TODAY! Thanks again!!

  12. I want the Every other Day Diet Program for $47.00
    Cant find Link.
    Thank You

  13. Jonathan says:

    Ah, the lost art of story telling is not lost after all (-:

    It seems a lot of people here are in love with EODD and 7 Minute Muscle. I’ve read them both but my favorite is the 7 Minute Diet. I love simplicity and nothing beats it in that respect.

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